What is the Foundation of this Relationship?

Soooo... I'm sitting here watching "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days." I have only seen this movie in bits and pieces, but being snowed in as I am, I finally got a chance to catch pretty much the whole movie! I'm sure this has been discussed ad nauseum, but it really has me evaluating relationships and the foundations on which they stand.

Clearly the premise of the movie is kind of ridiculous, as two people would be hard-pressed to have a successful relationship that was begun on a bet, or on the idea that one is trying to "gain" and then lose the other in 10 days. However, it is a good starting point to discuss the foundations of successful relationships.

I am of the opinion that it is impossible to have a stable relationship without respect, honesty, and trust. Honesty and trust seemingly go hand-in-hand, but many people are so damaged by their lived experiences that even if their partner is telling them the truth, they can't trust it as such.

I leave out love because relationships do not start with the two people in love, or at least not very often. Love is something that is grown and cultivated, not only through the respect, honesty, and trust necessary, but also through the time and effort of the people involved.

These days, people seem to barely respect themselves, not to mention the people that they are trying to involve themselves with. Relationships are rarely the desired outcome of getting to know someone; we just "go with the flow" and "see what happens." That kind of flexibility is great to build a relationship on, but not if both parties are not willing to define anything at all. We live in a society that is dedicated to keeping options open without understanding that open options often lead to feelings of instability and uncertainty.

I pass no judgements on how anyone decides to live their life. I have settled for less plenty of times, and sadly, I have been one of many options in a field of many, sometimes knowingly, and sometimes not. However, I think it is time for many people to decide that they are worth the time and effort it takes to build a true relationship. Even if you don't think you are worth it, I do, and I hope that means something to someone...

Also, I know that not everyone wants a relationship now. And sometimes, relationships contain more than two people. Or whatever other things people can think of to debate what I have put here. Regardless, when respect, honesty, and trust are inserted, I can't help but to think that even relationships that fall outside of the realm of what I have spoken about will be much happier and more fulfilling. But you know... maybe that's just me.

Unusual Must-Reads!

Ok all,

I love to read. Since I have been working, I have significantly slowed down how much I read, but I probably get in about a book a week, not counting the books I read online while procrastinating (don't judge me, lol). So, this is basically a book recommendation post.

For those that don't know, I am in my early twenties, but I also have a 16-year-old sister that is truly one of my best friends. We have similar tastes in a lot of things, and books are at the top of the list. That being said, she reads a lot of books that seem old for her, and I read plenty that you can generally only find in the "Teen" section of the bookstore. And that section, my friends, is where these recommendations come from today.

Don't turn your nose up just yet. Technically, if you are a Harry Potter or Twilight fan, you're already on my wavelength. And the series (yes, series) that I have to recommend today are also in the realm of fantasy. Not my usual cup of tea, but these stories.... are just really very good.

So the first up is the Mortal Instruments series. The books are City of Bones, City of Ashes, and City of Glass. I am just abou

t to start the last, but the themes of sacrifice, loyalty, friendship, and family have blazed throughout the first two books. These are the same themes that attracted me so strongly to the Harry Potter and Twilight words, and they are clearly prevalent in this series. Just... read the books.

Ok, so the next series is also truly amazing, and I'm not sure when it will be over... There are two books out right now Gone and Hunger. In general, the books are about what happens when in a certain area, all people over the age of 15 disappear. Really, all of the themes I mentioned before run rampant in these books, as well as powerful group-think, and some really, really dark tones like extreme sadism and psychopathy. But the story is so intricately spun, and the images powerfully gripping, intensely beautiful, and at times, horrifyingly offensive and realistic (in a fantasy-realism kind of way) that I really cannot put the books down once I pick them up. Beware though: these are Harry Potter sized books. Mortal Instruments books are not too long, but these are very long. But also very much worth the time investment. Pick them up. Read them. You won't regret it.