My distraction from writing has been somewhat dismaying. I haven't even written in my journal. My feelings have been so completely all over the place, and I have actually brought up the page to write here several time, but couldn't get through a whole post. I actually feel like I sound like somewhat of a broken record, because all I seem to talk about is relationships, in various ways. I just have so many feelings about things, and so many things that I have learned that I feel compelled to write about that.
But relationships are not the only thing going on in my life! That's actually NOT going, so that's not an issue, I suppose, lol. I will get to relationships later though. I just want to update the 0.5 people who read this a little on my life.
I turned 25 this year. Whoa. A quarter-century. That is amazing to me. I don't feel much like the "adult" that my age says I am. But my life is pretty good right now! I absolutely LOVE my job, even when it's driving me crazy (which is pretty much all the time). I feel like my work is important, and that is major to me. I feel like I'm way too old to waste my time on things that aren't building me up in some way, so I'm excited about where I am.
My family is good. They also drive me crazy, but I went home for Thanksgiving this year, and didn't want to tear myself away. It's rare that I get a stress-free trip home, but I did this year, and I am so thankful! I love them, and my almost 9 year old brother pretty much comes up to my shoulder. Made me want to cry! I love my siblings more than anything/one else I know (aside from my parents, of course). And it's my little sister's 19th birthday today. I reflect on our relationship and thank God that he made us so close. She is so amazing, and I strive to be like her. It should be the other way around, but she is truly an inspiration.
As for other things, I don't have much else going on. I still have all my best friends, and I realize that I don't really have many friends that I don't consider a "best friend." Some people might think this is crazy, but that's the level to which I elevate people in my life. I was tweeting earlier (follow me!: @Perspicacity913) and just reflecting on how I have people in my life that are so amazing. It's very hard for me to call someone a friend, so those that are are my family. I don't talk to them all the time, and some of them I don't even talk to often, but they are completely my family.
Now, as for relationships... Lol, there is almost nothing to say. I feel like I keep making the same decisions, even though they always turn out to be disastrous. (Isn't that insanity or something?) I always feel things so intensely, and I rarely give the other person time to catch up, lol. I actually am getting tired of the single life, but at the same time, I'm not interested in giving up my identity, which has happened often. I am a pretty strong person in general, but this is where I tend to back down. I just don't like feeling like I'm forcing anyone's hand, and so I keep things in, while being very accommodating. Just things to learn about myself, I suppose. When I reach my breaking point, I suppose I'll stop. Given the state of things, that's a depressing thought, so I guess I'll stop there. To be continued, I suppose...
Anyway, that's my update! It wasn't terribly exciting or thought-provoking, but not everything has to be. I really do want to start writing more again, so I'm sure I'll get back to it. I'm not even really that happy with this post, but I wrote all of it, so I'll post it. :-)
Catch y'all on the flip side.
~J
PS: I'm listening to Rihanna's Talk that Talk album now... liking it so far!
